Humpday Hymn: Raury – “Devil’s Whisper” (Live Colbert Performance)

Handclaps. Check. Hook with dope response. Check. Donald Trump in the building? YUP. Colbert invitation? I’ll take it!

That’s how this humpday hymn landed on our blog, and in your FACE. It’s also all the young Atlanta prodigy needed to completely own the moment.  Raury made the statement Colbert seemed too overwhelmed by the Donald to make to his face. Was it a coincidence for him to be musical guest on THIS night? Was it irony that his selection was a number about the devil whispering to him about how rich he is and will literally turn everything he touches to gold if he just sells his vote soul AS Donald Trump was backstage?  Sure… these freaky things happen. But, what Raury does for Stephen even at the end is worth watching:

Stephen, you better RUNNN!

4 Reasons To Be Excited 4 Colbert, The Greatest Night Show Host

So, George Bush – GREAT president, or the GREATEST president?” In the golden years of the Colbert Report,”Stephen ” the conservative, loud-mouthed, self proclaimed “truth-feeler” often asked his exasperated guests to answer that one simple question after the 5 minute mental roller coaster of their professional lives.  Tonight, Stephen Colbert debuts to answer a more important question. Here are 4 reasons there is no wrong answer:

1.  Breaking up the JIMMopoly:
Okay, that was slightly terrible, almost as terribly plastic as the content and context has become on the late night tip. The Jimmies are having a field day with ratings, thanks in part to curation for viral video viewership (say that fast 3 times).

When Letterman announced his retirement, he conceded in that old curmudgeon swagger we mentioned on his tribute. In a subsequent Rolling Stone interview he affirmed “I hear about things going viral and I think, ‘How do you do that?’ I think I’m the blockage in the plumbing.”

To date, top Jimmy is pummeling bottom Jimmy so hard in that department, that he went and created another show on a whole other network, and THAT is the #1 Show on THAT network. It’s an entire show where celebrities are lip-syncing other singer’s songs. -_- (I mean REALLY!? What’re we doin here?).

Executive Producer of The Tonight Show, Lorne Michaels now has his hands in creating SNL, subsequently Jimmy Fallon, and now grandfathering America’s karaoke machine. NO ONE MAN SHOULD HAVE ALL THAT unfunny POWER!  Since Colbert Report ended, my 10:30PM (Central) has been basically Charlie Rose only – into Seth Myers, when I’m not too busy hosting sexy parties.  We shouldn’t have to choose between marginally funny, and topically informative and edgy late night. We can have both! We will, on the Late Show With Stephen Colbert

2. Jon Stewart is gone, Long Live Jon Stewart: Continue reading 4 Reasons To Be Excited 4 Colbert, The Greatest Night Show Host

Watch The Donald Impression To Trump Them All, Jimmy Fallon’s

That’s it! Everybody quit while you’re ahead! The Tonight Show will take it from here on out, folks. Stephen Colbert’s Trump was promising, and more subtle…but sorry, Stephen. Leave the Donald to the pros. You may have heard of Trump’s comments on Fox’s Megyn Kelly “bleeding from her you know what” over the weekend. Jimmy wants to set the record straight on that. This here, folks, is about as spot on as Tina Fey’s Sarah Palin. America, can we agree to put up with Trump’s hogwash as long as it provides material for Jimmy to bring us more? Watch, Die, and go to Pun Heaven – you DEVIANTS 😉 :

Stephen Colbert Cheated John Oliver, Who Cheated Jon Stewart And The Troops

Remember that “ice bucket challenge” for ALS Awareness or somethin (I just remember the videos, not exactly sure what for anymore).  Well this is like that, except with 20 push-ups, FOR THE TROOPS… of the UNITED STATES of AMERICA and Freedom and Peace! Colbert was challenged by former colleague and Brit, John Oliver to take the challenge. Checkout his tricky response:

Oliver himself was challenged by their respective mentor and former boss, Jon Stewart. He seemed to be the only one to honor the challenge displaying unexpected fitness at his retirement age. Checkout both of their push-up sets below:

Continue reading Stephen Colbert Cheated John Oliver, Who Cheated Jon Stewart And The Troops

Long Live Colbeard, And The New Late Show Bandleader

A couple of weeks ago we said goodbye to the late-show legend, David Letterman. Lurking in the shadows was the (apparently) pipe-smoking, fork-and-knife hot dog eatin man attached to the Colbeard via his face.  Stephen Colbert is hard at work getting the revamped Late Show rolling with a new list of familiar Late Night “Show Needs“.  Seen in the background, some of these include “Cameras“, “Things to say“, “more things to say“, and a  “FRYER“. This African’s all-in already, folks! If you need some convincing, watch the clip yourself. If you’re a millenial, leave some suggestions

High up on that list should probably have been a “band leader”. Letterman had Paul for 30+ years, Fallon’s got the legendary Roots crew.  It’s necessary in this format.  Well Stephen introduced a new friend of the show this morning!

Jon Batiste is a New Orleans jazz/soul multi-instrumentalist.  He’s only 28 years old, but with the charisma he displayed on his appearances on the Colbert Report – no wonder Stephen went ot New Orleans to recruit the guy himself.

Batiste comes as part of a package deal: While he will be the bandleader, he’ll be backed by his current band, which includes a saxophonist and a percussionist, as well as a tubist. Known together as Jon Batiste and Stay Human, the band formed shortly after Batiste graduated from Julliard.

Checkout a piece of Batiste and Stay Human on stage

Tribute To Late Night’s Greatest Curmudgeon, David Letterman

Curmudgeon – (definition) A crusty, ill-tempered, and usually old man.

He’s usually the disgruntled “get off my lawn” guy masterfully portrayed by Clint Eastwood in the dark comedy drama Gran Turino. (Also that one time he chastised an invisible chair he thought was President Obama for like 10 minutes , remember that crazy $hit?).

Thanks A Lot, OBAMA
Thanks A Lot, OBAMA

More comically, the curmudgeon is portrayed by Seinfeld co-creator Larry David in his everyday antagonistic mannerisms on splendid display throughout the legendary improv show “Curb Your Enthusiasm”, none of least being his refusal to give-up the wardrobe of an 8th grader.

I know I'm an adult, PHUCK YOU.
“I know I’m an adult, PHUCK YOU.”

“…Fracking.. I’m not smart enough to understand it. Here’s what I know…the greedy oil and gas…(begins ass-ripping)”

Dave found a way to make being senile or “stupid” as animal tricks intellectually funny.  The likes of Jon Stewart and his heir apparent, Stephen Colbert owe their entire shtick and comedic identity to Dave.  The spitballs of truth from the back of America’s classroom made him the old dude we hoped would never graduate, but at some point even Van Wilder gotta go. So, here we are! Dave is gone, LONG LIVE DAVE (unlike the life poisoned by water in fracking zones). Enjoy this sparring session:

Monday Mood: Kendrick Lamar – “Untitled” (Colbert Report Performance)

“Meditation is a must, it don’t hurt if you try”

In the lead-up to releasing what eventually became the highest reviewed rap album of all time (97 metacritic), K-Dot stopped by for one of Stephen’s last episodes for a live rendition of a untitled track that was eventually left off his masterpiece “To Pimp A Butterfly”.  Mantras galore on this one. It is definitely worth it to fully decode it via the good folks at Rap Genius.  Partake in Meditation-Monday blessed by the summoned Terrace Martin trumpet solo.