Watch Riley Curry Be The Diva We Feared She Would Become

We called it, folks. We said it almost a year to the DATE! Don’t believe us? Just FLASHBACK HERE. You all thought it was cute, and vined it, and replayed it with your #LifeGoals hashtags! But, as always this blog saw through the smokes and mirrors.
My only regret is this line on leniency:”Never mind, Riley. Do watcha want…
With that small window of appeasement, we opened the door for a young woman in her terrible-twos to enter her  3rd year of charm with the confidence and strut of a media dictator far beyond her years.

Before you watch this disturbing footage, I have to warn you – you will never enter a party, club, church, or even your own home with this much swagger! Here is Riley entering late to Steph Curry’s MVP acceptance speech:

WHO IS SHE TALKING TO? Is that a shout-out or a warning?? Is it “I see you, we cool” or “I see you, BE COOL”??? No words this time, just pointing, strutting, and settling down from the more calm and collected diva, Riley Curry. Those reporters must have felt like a room full of Death Row artists whenever Suge Knight walked in the room!

When asked by field reporters “how do you feel about Riley Curry being the first unanimous toddler MVP?“, rival diva toddler -North West – had nothing but a simple glare in response. The look of “WTF did you just say” spoke volumes and no more questions were asked:

north-west-ballet-bun
Watch Ya Mouth

She then hopped into her low-profile father’s executive SUV on the way to vacation where the two are said to be in shock at America’s ignorance of the “GREATEST TODDLER OF ALL TIME” – a title that is said to be already contested by her younger brother, Saint who will be graduating from infancy very soon exclusively on TIDAL.

Nori Ye
Are y’all serious???

Middle America packed in, indeed

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Watch Steph Curry’s RUDE Pre-Shot Celebration!

Michael Jordan once closed his eyes while shooting free throws. Iverson is known for the step-over after crossing up a defender then draining a 3 on them. But, Steph Curry is nicer than those guys – nonetheless deadly with the shot, however. Steph Curry knows the future, and won’t be bothered by waiting for the perfect 3 point swish like the rest of the mortals in professional basketball. GIVE HIM 5, NOW!

It’s not even NBA season yet, and I get the feeling we’ll be forced to post a bunch of these by this guy. Simply deplorable behavior. Somebody stop him!

The 2015 NBA Finals Preview

THE FINALS ARE HERE! THE FINALS ARE HERE! THE FINALS ARE HERE! Are you fucking ready or what?

It’s been a while since I’ve dove off the deep end into some NBA coverage. But dude… IT’S THE FINALS. LEBRON VS CURRY. MVP VS MVP. Oh man, I’m ridiculously excited. I had to jump back in! In honor of the best two week stretch of the year, here are some key head to head (but not in the literal matchup-on-the-court basketball sense) battles that will decide the NBA Finals. If you possess superb attention to detail you might notice that I’ve listed the Golden State Warriors player first in every title. That’s because they’re the higher seed. It’s also because *SPOILER ALERT* I think they’re going to win the series. Continue reading The 2015 NBA Finals Preview

Can Someone Please Get Chris Paul Some Amoxicillin?

Chris, do you want your amoxicillin in pill form, or would you prefer to take the children’s bubblegum flavored liquid via spoon?  Seriously, we need to get that inner-ear infection treated right away. You’re already displaying severe dizziness.  Don’t let the symptoms get any worse.  You’re at risk for complications!

Actually, on second thought, maybe don’t take the amoxicillin.  It might be best to go deaf so you don’t hear all of that mean, mean laughter.