Watch Riley Curry Be The Diva We Feared She Would Become

We called it, folks. We said it almost a year to the DATE! Don’t believe us? Just FLASHBACK HERE. You all thought it was cute, and vined it, and replayed it with your #LifeGoals hashtags! But, as always this blog saw through the smokes and mirrors.
My only regret is this line on leniency:”Never mind, Riley. Do watcha want…
With that small window of appeasement, we opened the door for a young woman in her terrible-twos to enter her  3rd year of charm with the confidence and strut of a media dictator far beyond her years.

Before you watch this disturbing footage, I have to warn you – you will never enter a party, club, church, or even your own home with this much swagger! Here is Riley entering late to Steph Curry’s MVP acceptance speech:

WHO IS SHE TALKING TO? Is that a shout-out or a warning?? Is it “I see you, we cool” or “I see you, BE COOL”??? No words this time, just pointing, strutting, and settling down from the more calm and collected diva, Riley Curry. Those reporters must have felt like a room full of Death Row artists whenever Suge Knight walked in the room!

When asked by field reporters “how do you feel about Riley Curry being the first unanimous toddler MVP?“, rival diva toddler -North West – had nothing but a simple glare in response. The look of “WTF did you just say” spoke volumes and no more questions were asked:

north-west-ballet-bun
Watch Ya Mouth

She then hopped into her low-profile father’s executive SUV on the way to vacation where the two are said to be in shock at America’s ignorance of the “GREATEST TODDLER OF ALL TIME” – a title that is said to be already contested by her younger brother, Saint who will be graduating from infancy very soon exclusively on TIDAL.

Nori Ye
Are y’all serious???

Middle America packed in, indeed

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Steph Curry’s Daughter Stole The Show, And I Hate It

OGER-ALERT! Come on, its distracting. MVP Steph Curry just crushed and helped lock in the first close win at home against the Houston Rockets. Just to be clear, it was hilarious, and she’s a ridiculously adorable 2 year old.  All-Star Weekend? Just won the 3 point contest? Regular Season last game? Just won the NBA Finals? PERFECT! It’s a celebration!

But, it’s late (reporters gotta hand in quotes, basketball fans are listening to what the MVP has to say about out-playing his runner-up in the conference final), and overcoming a 15-point deficit.  There were at least two occasions when Steph had to break the flow of the press conference to ask a reporter to repeat questions, or look for the little cute bugger duckin under desks.  Being MVP and all, maybe that’s an unwritten right that comes with the award. But the rest of yall, better not start doing this! Definitely not the losers!

“Um… yall act like you never seen a cute toddler before”

AAAAH FORGET IT! Look at that yawn! That sneeze!! That silly wave!!! WERE THOSE DOLPHIN NOISES??? Never mind, Riley. Do watcha want, girl! (Maybe I’m just jealous my bedtime was a lot more strict at 2 years old).