Potato Of The Day Episode 42

applebiteI have an apple on my desk.  I can’t recall how many bites of this apple I’ve had. Does this apple look 20% bitten or 80% unbitten?

Hmm…  I don’t really know. It seems like an awfully stupid question to be asking regardless. Why judge the apple by what’s there or what’s not there?  Shouldn’t you, meaning I, estimate taste not heft? Shouldn’t you, meaning I, judge the apple by how it has been or by how it will be? Shouldn’t you, meaning I, ask whether the missing 20% of that apple was more or less delicious than the next 80% will be more or less delicious?

Frankly both of you, meaning I, are, meaning am, missing the point here. Neither the state of the apple’s matter composition nor the apple’s taste profile matter in regards to estimating the quality or lack of quality of that apple. You, meaning I, shouldn’t be asking how much. You, meaning I, should ask whom. As in, to whom was the missing chunk distributed? The question you, meaning I, should ask is whether or not the first 20% percent of that apple was consumed in the same matter, and by the same being, as the last 80% will be consumed in and by, or will the last 80% be consumed in and by different means from which the first 20% was consumed in and by?

The lot of you, meaning I, are, meaning is, missing the point entirely. There’s no sense in charting the past, present, or future of the apple that currently exists. The apple that exists is insignificant because it, like us all, meaning like I, will soon cease its presence on this plane of existence. Surely the absence of matter, the missing, the void, the nothingness, surely that negative space tells us more about the apple’s entirety than the physical observations we, meaning you, meaning I, could make in the world we, meaning you, meaning I, already inhabit. So we, meaning you, meaning I, must ask, where the does the 20% of the apple that no longer exists on this plane of existence now exist, and will the remaining 80% be destined for the same plane of existence as its theoretical counterpart?

Fuck everything about this post. I ate the rest of the apple. It didn’t matter.  

Potato Of The Day Episode 23

"TATER" by MCS - Oil pastel on card stock.
“TATER” by MCS – Oil pastel on card stock.

This photo is a gift sent from a reader, but it’s also an artwork, a response and replication of another artwork, casting shadows, altering the consumption of said artwork, an oil sketch, in turn a response to my own artwork, written interpretations of potatoes, episodic and stacked streams of consciousness, in turn a response to nature’s artwork, the humble, but glorious, potato.

At what point does art cease to be art? At what point is art reality? Do the images in our heads match the truth, the genuine physical world? Is the physical world any more genuine than the world that lurks within the mind’s eye? Do our dreams align with laws of physics? Did you read this text as I intended you to interpret it? If all you ever see is an interpretation of an object, can you understand that object? What if this was your first experience with a potato? Would you appreciate this potato more or less? Would you be able to say you understood what a potato was? Does this even count as a potato? Does it matter that I’ve labeled it a Potato Of The Day?

The shadows that rise from the corner of the photo, do those shadows have a message for us? Do they hint at the potato’s darkness? Do they unsettle your understanding of the potato? Were your opinions of potatoes pre-settled before we began this journey? If so, why did you assume to know the potato? If not, why did you not ponder the potato previously? Can you find meaning in these questions? Do questions constitute a blog post? Is a blog post art? Is the potato art? Is there real meaning within the rooted core of the potato? Or are potatoes meaningless?

Do you believe in the potato? Show me.

If you’ve got potatoes you want me to look at, email them to benandsiyablog@gmail.com.

Potato Of The Day Episode 12

jicamapotato“Hey, hold up a second… that’s not a potato. THAT’S A FUCKING JICAMA.” Shh, child. Don’t be scared. We’re just adventuring out into the great beyond! We’re expanding our universe. A Potato Of The Day can be anything we want it to be! Potatoes are our dreams, and the jicama is a glorious reverie!

Imagine if potatoes really were that big! Hush, I realize there actually are roided out taters that would make the Hulk happy. I’m talking about normal potatoes. Because this is a normal jicama. Just picture how life would be if our typical Russets, Yukon Golds, and Golden Sweet Potatoes were this big! Our ovens would have to be HUGE! That greasy cardboard half-box you keep your fries in would be so much longer! Potato chips would be the size of Frisbees! Picture yourself in this whimsical world of monster potatoes! Doesn’t it make you happy? Doesn’t it make you proud to have dreams?

And yes, I’m ignoring the literal of you out there, the ones who would hold the Potato Of The Day chained to its rigid format. We don’t need you in our alternate reality of voluptuous yams. Keep your negative energy to yourself. Besides, your thinking is all wrong. Wikipedia lists “Spanish Potato” and “Chinese Potato” as two alternate names for the jicama. How about that? So maybe, just maybe, a jicama really can be a Potato Of The Day! Maybe, just maybe, it’s okay to dream after all! Maybe, just maybe, you should lighten up!