Midnight Snack: Jaden Smith – “4 My 1”

YOOO Jaden FLOWIN. I didn’t just get lost in 5 pages of his tweets

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Midnight Snack: Willow Smith – “Female Energy”

This isn’t on her brand new debut album, but its a little exhibit of this prodigy’s rich and matured musical prowess. Her use of harmony is very promising, and has potential to be a strange mix of Florence Welsh and Frank Ocean – equally capable of dark eery depths, and the light snappy screeches of “Whip My Hair” she jumped on the scene with. All this “Female Energy” at 15 (this recorded at 13)! She’s got the swagger of a young Rihanna, and the alluring charm of a young Alicia Keys – and it all comes through in sound. This should shock no one, knowing that she is sister to the incomparable Jaden Smith!

Throwback Thursday: Fresh Prince 25th Anniversary

Today marks the 25th Anniversary of Jaden’s Dad’s coming of age.  West Philadelphia was too small for him, and he took a cab… ALL THE WAY to Bel-Air. There, in time, he became KING! Sorry, that’s T.I.P. comin live from the V.I.P. Will Smith, however became the FRESH PRINCE OF BEL-AIR. He told the story better:

Humpday Hymn: Will Smith – “Switch”

We know you thought of him mainly as Jaden Smith’s dad. That he is, and lucky to be. But, before the underrated masterpiece that was “After Earth”, Mike Lowry was breakin em off Big Willie Style.  What’s that? Hand claps? Got it, Hymn time it is, Jaden’s dad!

Watch The “Suicide Squad” Trailer And Go Slightly Psycho

Fresh off the heels of his Dallas Buyer’s Club Oscar Win, Jared Leto is joined by an all-star cast featuring Jaden Smith‘s Dad, Cara DeleThoughtSheWasJustASuperModel,  and Ben please-don’t-Affleck-up-Batman among others.  This won’t come out till Fall 2016, but the pull of Comic-Con, Marvel rackin up ALL the superhero blockbuster glory, and general excitement for this twisted tail featuring the re-introduction of The Joker was too much for adrenaline junkie David Ayers to resist giving us a peek.  Peep the gritty and nightmare inducing trailer here. Dare ya not to replay it:

What Gives Kanye The Biggest Smile, But Makes Woody Harrelson Lose His Erection?

That’s not a click-bait title! Because, the answer lies directly within that lil square you’re about to press play on down there. When David Blaine performs his witchcraft, its usually about the defiance of physics. But, we’ve seen Harrison Ford kick him out of his home when things went too far for his taste.

This time, he visits Jaden Smith’s family, Kanye West (who is for some divine reason hangin out with Woody Harrelson – I’d watch just THAT show), and those guys from Breaking Bad (which I’ve not see a single shot off for some reason). Woody Harrelson’s reaction is – as the title suggests – “well I just lost my erection entirely”. That’s the punchline, but the build-up and foreplay is the real… meat here. If seeing the rare mythical creature that is a Kanye smile is your thing, watch this and lose it like everyone does at the plot-twist:

Ben’s Diary: Jaden Smith Is Off Twitter, And I’m Bugging The Fuck Out!

Dear Diary,

This is Siya. Ben was in a last minute rush to pack, and phone-in the rest of his crusty-ass potatoes of the day.  He left you in America, right next to this passport looking thing…Oh well, must not be important.

You know WTF IS important? JADEN SMITH WISDOM! YOU KNOW WTF happened to THAT? GONE!… ALL OF IT!… NO EXPLANATION, but a big blue twitter background with “Sorry that page doesn’t exist!” WHHHAT in the ACTUAL phuck is that about? 

“That’s why you screenshot things”

Really? I was just supposed to foresee the future and screenshot every damn thing Jaden Smith tweeted? Do you realize how stupid you sound? Jaden tweets are to be internalized, and used as mantras in deep meditation and self-reflection of all that is, was, and will be – not SCREENSHOTTED to live in some abyss of an ever phone-clogging camera roll next to your dick-pics!

“Maybe this is a test”

YO, I’m buggin! It’s like that Tony Robbins book you have and never read, you know? You just need to know its there to read 10 pages of it from time to time and pretend to be a new person for a bit.  But , its GONE NOW, MAN!

Don’t Question Jaden

Damn. This is truly a test. I don’t know of what! I don’t know why. I don’t know anything.

I’m alone now… until I find me. Maybe Jaden would want it this way.
#BringBackOurJaden