Counterpoint Continued: Animals, Like Siya, Are Still Stupid And Not Capable Of (Up)Rising

Before we get started, I want to apologize for posting a GIF instead of the video. Yeah, that’s a long GIF, but the video is longer and has a horrid woman dying mammal screeching constantly in the background. This is one case where you definitely don’t need the sound. If you’re one of those people who just absolutely cannot, for any reason, watch moving images without sound, then consider seeking some psychological help because there are issues there that need to be resolved (and cue up some Benny Hill because this shit is a comedy of errors).

I want you to maintain your focus on the puppy sporting the swank polka dot bow tie. I know that’s hard with all of those other puppies flying around like snowflakes in a blizzard, but the bow tie guy is the one that’s going to prove my point about animals being stupid. Watch how little thought goes into that paw first cannonball, watch the INSTANT regret flood into that puppy’s face as four whole inches of H2O creep up its fur, and finally, watch its PATHETIC attempt to scurry out of the water. THAT’S WHY YOU DON’T SKIP HIND LEG DAY AT THE GYM YOU ANEMIC ANIMAL ASS.

Siya, stop your scare tactic bullshit about animals. I don’t care about nuclear foxes, or glass smashing gorillas, or frisky pheasants. Animals aren’t uprising. THEY CAN’T EVEN GET OUT OF THE POOL.