While you may deny such wrong-doing, your homeboy is live-tweeting the scuffle for us, VLAD! That’s 2015. “The Shot heard around the World” was for the American Revolution. Not too far from there in Sarajevo, an Archbishop’s assassination tindered World War 1. Will the next major conflict be sparked by the inevitability of somebody pressing “post” on their mobile phone at the wrong time and place?
If you MUST choose a career in terrorism, and you MUST be a direct enemy of the United States, and you JUST GOTTA update your twitter followers on your sweet new territory gains – try not imploring the most advanced intelligence and Air Force in human history to play hide and seek/destroy with you.
This is advise a selfie-stick-wielding wonderkid could’ve used (that and try not being a terrorist in the first place). Taking a selfie and posting it on social media is the kind of stunt that gets these guys off, and frankly has been effective in recruiting 3,400 Westerners (including 200 Americans according to CNN). But, leaving your geo-tagged LOCATION on? Come on, man. That’s the kinda stunt that gets you demoted or fired from your respective terrorist cell. If nothing else, it gets a bored Air Force Pilot… FIRED UP. When he was just chillin like so:
According to Air Combat Command General Hawk Carlisle,
“The guys working down out of Hurlburt, they’re combing through social media and they see some moron standing at this command… in some social media, open forum, bragging about the command and control capabilities for Daesh, ISIL. And these guys go: ‘We got an in.’”
Let’s take a break here and imagine that scenario. Picture the young USAF intelligence officer. All he does ALL DAY is tirelessly scroll through propaganda timelines, and everything kinda blurs together after a while. What’s the first thought that comes to mind when he realizes what they land on right before he takes a smoke bathroom break? “Nooo. This jackass CAN’T be for real!” He calls the rest of the team like:
So everybody suits up like:
Okay, let’s let the General finish:
“So they do some work, long story short, about 22 hours later through that very building, three [Joint Direct Attack Munitions] take that entire building out”
“In a leap for robotic development, the MIT researchers who built a robotic cheetah have now trained it to see and jump over hurdles as it runs — making this the first four-legged robot to run and jump over obstacles autonomously”
So here we are at an impasse. We must co-exist with these animals as our entertainment, and show of good grace towards our “interest” in “diversity”, to soothe the tree-huggin nature-nazis and clueless bloggin denialists alike. Our brightest minds at the Massachussettes Institute of Technology are getting us closer to being war ready for the inevitable World War Zoo! ABOUT TIME! By combining the best of our ingenuity in robotics, and using the cats own capabilities against them, we are tirelessly working to be leaps and bounds ahead of the BeastKrieg. Without further adieu, BEHOLD our jumping, sprinting, rumbutious robotic ally in the coming BeastKrieg:
Google acquired Boston Dynamics, the company that made the first generation of these, a few months ago. They also happen to be currently in cahoots with the military’s ultra-secret R&D wing, DARPA (US Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency). So before the War against the animals, they’ll be sure to test these out on HUMAN subjects. If you’re concerned how they’ll find some willing participants, don’t worry. As I mentioned above, this is a collaboration between information gate-keepers (Google), and information seekers (U.S. Government). They now know everything about all of us already. So get ready for some exciting exercises on that end, because nothing could possible go wrong! 😀