Watch Russian Soldier’s Social Media Posts Totally Blow Ukranian Invasion Secret

“…the digital and literal footprints of one Russian soldier…prove that Russian soldiers are fighting in Ukraine.”

Disclaimer: Not here to argue the political facts and consequences, we haven’t opened that can of worms yet. We’re barely touching technology on this blog as of late. But, here’s some meaningful context. Former 4-Star General, Welsey Clark was both head of United States European Command, AND Supreme Commander of NATO forces. When it comes to Ukraine, Crimea, and the general phuckery Russia has been “allegedly” inflicting in the area – he can be considered an expert voice.  He recently warned that Russia is planning a Spring Offensive to further seize more sovereign territory from embattled and fractured Ukraine.
A couple of days ago we reported on the ISIS “moron” who tweeted his location, completely blowing his cover in a battle – and had a bit of fun with that, right along with the Air Force guys. Now this? SO, LET’S RECAP!

World leader most likely goes for hegemonic land-grab in neighboring Ukraine. CHECK. World leader flat-out denies such doings (under the cover of sloppy guerilla tactics). SURE. World community goes ahead and freezes his economic power into tailspin recession anyway, just in case – ya know – HE’S CLEARLY LYING. CHECK. The international waltz of crisis ensues, and continues to the day of this posting. That is until the good folks over at Vice News popped into one of Russia’s most popular Social Networks and noticed a young G.I. Jakov left his geo-tags on.  Sooo all they had to do was follow those digital breadcrumbs to young tweeter’s posting history, and what do you know? Massive troop incursions right on the border, waiting for orders from Moscow!
WATCH THE TRAILER:

Russian President Vladimir has unequivocally denied these allegations.  Nonetheless, the international community led by the United States has imposed tough sanctions on the Russian economy, including Russian oligarchy’s funds worldwide – some of Putin’s strongest and most wealthy billionaire supporters (guys who made a killing in the Sochi Olympics). The general idea is, you can’t eat ya lunch – until you release the headlock you have on that Ukranian kid in your part of the playground.

While you may deny such wrong-doing, your homeboy is live-tweeting the scuffle for us, VLAD! That’s 2015. “The Shot heard around the World” was for the American Revolution.  Not too far from there in Sarajevo, an Archbishop’s assassination tindered World War 1. Will the next major conflict be sparked by the inevitability of somebody pressing “post” on their mobile phone at the wrong time and place?

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ISIS “Moron” Tweets Base Location To United States Airforce, Then…

If you MUST choose a career in terrorism, and you MUST be a direct enemy of the United States, and you JUST GOTTA update your twitter followers on your sweet new territory gains – try not imploring the most advanced intelligence and Air Force in human history to play hide and seek/destroy with you.

This is advise a selfie-stick-wielding wonderkid could’ve used (that and try not being a terrorist in the first place). Taking a selfie and posting it on social media is the kind of stunt that gets these guys off, and frankly has been effective in recruiting 3,400 Westerners (including 200 Americans according to CNN).  But, leaving your geo-tagged LOCATION on? Come on, man. That’s the kinda stunt that gets you demoted or fired from your respective terrorist cell. If nothing else, it gets a bored Air Force Pilot… FIRED UP. When he was just chillin like so:

Dude...SOMEBODY tweet meeee!
Dude…SOMEBODY tweet meeee!

According to Air Combat Command General Hawk Carlisle,

The guys working down out of Hurlburt, they’re combing through social media and they see some moron standing at this command… in some social media, open forum, bragging about the command and control capabilities for Daesh, ISIL. And these guys go: ‘We got an in.’

Let’s take a break here and imagine that scenario. Picture the young USAF intelligence officer. All he does ALL DAY is tirelessly scroll through propaganda timelines, and everything kinda blurs together after a while.  What’s the first thought that comes to mind when he realizes what they land on right before he takes a smoke bathroom break? “Nooo. This jackass CAN’T be for real!”  He calls the rest of the team like:

So everybody suits up like:

Bruh, did you hear bout the idiot who tweeted us where to send these?
“Bruh, did you hear bout the idiot who tweeted us where to send these?”

Okay, let’s let the General finish:

So they do some work, long story short, about 22 hours later through that very building, three [Joint Direct Attack Munitions] take that entire building out

Ayyy! Peep MY selfie-swag, doe! #GramOnFire
Ayyy! Peep MY selfie-swag, though! #GramOnFire

So the old saying is true… looks CAN kill.

Watch This Robot Cheetah Leap Closer To World War Zoo

Folks, it is on! This is bigger than me and some closeted feline-fearing enabler of the beasts. Folks, it’s been a running misconception that I FEAR the beasts. Au-Contrar, I’m ready for them! I’m ready to throw everything we’ve got at em, and I only hope to get YOU just as ready! New Zealander Colin Murdoch did his part with his invention.  Jane Goodall helped us keep our friends close and enemies closer, under the guise of “animal activism” 😉 . Nice going, Jane! Now we know more of their plans for a PLANET OF THE APES! And ofcourse, Siegried and Roy were betrayed when these cuddly cats couldn’t shed their… STRIPES!

“In a leap for robotic development, the MIT researchers who built a robotic cheetah have now trained it to see and jump over hurdles as it runs — making this the first four-legged robot to run and jump over obstacles autonomously”

So here we are at an impasse. We must co-exist with these animals as our entertainment, and show of good grace towards our “interest” in “diversity”, to soothe the tree-huggin nature-nazis and clueless bloggin denialists alike.  Our brightest minds at the Massachussettes Institute of Technology are getting us closer to being war ready for the inevitable World War Zoo! ABOUT TIME! By combining the best of our ingenuity in robotics, and using the cats own capabilities against them, we are tirelessly working to be leaps and bounds ahead of the BeastKrieg. Without further adieu, BEHOLD our jumping, sprinting, rumbutious robotic ally in the coming BeastKrieg:

P.s.

Google acquired Boston Dynamics, the company that made the first generation of these, a few months ago.  They also happen to be currently in cahoots with the military’s ultra-secret R&D wing, DARPA (US Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency). So before the War against the animals, they’ll be sure to test these out on HUMAN subjects. If you’re concerned how they’ll find some willing participants, don’t worry. As I mentioned above, this is a collaboration between information gate-keepers (Google), and information seekers (U.S. Government). They now know everything about all of us already.  So get ready for some exciting exercises on that end, because nothing could possible go wrong! 😀