Watch The Goofiest And Most Awesome TD Celebration Of The Year, Thank Antonio Brown

As Future once surmised, “you do watchu want when you poppin”. Well it don’t get mo poppin than being virtually unstoppable by ANY cornerback  on the field, and  being arguably the best receiver in football (shut up, Julio!). Big Ben knows it when he lobs bombs miles where he knows Brown will reach no matter what, and special teams everywhere better recognize it when they punt to the man. Unless of course they wanna set the mood for Brown and his new found love, the goalpost.

You do watchu want when you poppin

Watch this goofy ass celebration that you should NEVER try at home if you wanna keep your family jewels:

This makes way more sense in cartoon form: Continue reading Watch The Goofiest And Most Awesome TD Celebration Of The Year, Thank Antonio Brown


Kevin DuRANTs Getting Old… Like Kobe Old

You know why we STILL colloquially  refer to dope people in arbitrary clutch moments as “The Real MVP”? THIS IS WHY:

Almost a year to the exact day later, speaking to the very media and spectator audience that praised that heartfelt speech, voted him MVP, and coddled his fledgling superstar public image with the velvet gloves of a french masseuse aaand how does newborn baby K.D. feel about that crew?:

You guys really don’t know (expletive). , I’m only here talking to y’all because I have to…  I really don’t care. Y’all not my friends.

Some context: That quote was after he was asked about the validity of then Head Coach Scott Brooks’ pending dismissal from the perpetually underwhelming OKC Thunder, Durant lead.
Update: Scott Brooks was fired -_-

For the sake of time, and general apathy  we’ll skip every other DuRANT Kevin has had (get it? coz that’s his name? and he RANTS a bunch?) since those tend to involve everything BUT his notable absence from the  NBA finals with a very capable squad. Let’s look at his reaction to Kobe Bryant’s retirement.

Kobe’s retirement came as a surprise to the few people who didn’t realize he had a 1 year contract left, and the Lakers are clearly gearing for a complete team rebuild in the post Kobe era (a VERY Kobe-centric era that included curbing 3 time champ, Shaq – and wasting Dwight Howard’s further dwindling window of opportunity in potential greatness). The expectation was that Kobe knows he’s still got something left in the tank for one more season, and won’t look like Wizard’s Jordan, Piston’s Iverson, or Celtic’s Shaq. Needless to say, Kobe explicitly made it clear that he doesn’t want a Derek-Jeter-style farewell tour where players and spectators are “lobbing him softballs” (and going easy on him). TRUE COLD-BLOODED MAMBA FASHION. RESPEK.
So as this 2015 season gets rollin, and Kobe’s shooting EVERY POSSIBLE SHOT (not new) but, scoring 4 pts (that happened). Nobody was gonna give old-man-Bryant an “A for effort”. Bryant himself wouldn’t have it any other way. But know who apparently WOULD? That’s right, Count DuRANTula himself:

“He’s a legend, and all I hear is about how bad he’s playing, how bad he’s shooting and it’s time for him to hang it up. You guys (media/spectators) treated one of our legends like $hit, and I didn’t really like it.”

-_- Kevin. GTFOH. Focus on helping Russell Westbrook and matching his relentless efforts. Wouldn’t it be nice to stand a chance in the treacherous Western Conference one more time before this team’s Championship window inevitably shuts? Maybe take a page out of D. Rose’s book, and just quietly collect checks while pitching in when you can on the court. Congrats on your new-found freedom of speech, hopefully they’ve got championship rings in that same lost-and-found box. You don’t have to be a mute, but all your DuRANTS are starting to get old and moot.

Update – Here’s Kobe’s ACTUAL agreeing with this exact post. We know he’s a reader:

Aaron Rodgers Is MVP Honors, Cam Newton Is Honorable Mention, And Tom Brady Is GOAT

Sunday Football came as a necessary entertainment break from the tragic events worldwide including terrorist attacks in international cities, Beirut, and Paris. Every game held a moment of silence for the victims, including Lambeau Field. That’s when some jackass chose to yell “muslims suck!”, with the timing of a Congressman yelling “you lie”.

Well, Green Bay QB heard that and called the fan out:

You get the MVP Award of the week, champ.


Now CAM… you undefeated, juggernaut of a man-child you! I say “Man-Child” referring to almighty Cam because of how much he is man-handling defenses on the line of scrimmage, and INSTANTLY followin that up with being delightfully (unless you’re a defense tryna stop him) childish EVERY TIME. Watch and laugh:

and Tom Brady?

Continue reading Aaron Rodgers Is MVP Honors, Cam Newton Is Honorable Mention, And Tom Brady Is GOAT

Watch Urban Meyer Earn Godfather Status With This J.T. Barrett Answer

The NCAA never has its shortage of scandals – whether its program wide, or at the individual level.  When crisis 1st hits the headlines, rival programs and fans are usually the 1st to go. “What an idiot! CRAB LEGS? CAN HIM”… then the coach has to respond with condemnation (or a delay of such) of the player and reverberating public opinion.

So, if what college your young star athlete commits to hinges on how the head coach will treat them on and off the field – checkout what he had to say when asked about his starting QB’s recent brush ups with the law (vis-a-vis: driving while impaired):

Impressed? Not everyone could turn a blindside to the hypocrisy:

Some perspective on that, this appears to be young Barrett’s 1st infraction.  While I don’t agree with Meyer’s cheap shot, I’m sure it had something to do with the fact that the crab legs incidence was AFTER 1st round overall pick, Jameis Winston already had been embattled with sexual assault accusations…that or Meyer was just saying whatever it takes to sell his book in Bill O’Reilly’s “No Spin Zone” – take your pick.
That’s the thing, about being Godfather… when your family does it, it’s part of business ie”We’ll carry on” … if somebody else does, it’s personal ie “they gotta go”.

Dear America, We Still Cool Right? Yours Sincerely, South African

In case you missed it, October’s our cynical celebration of our favorite death season. Every day, Ben will present one thing that scares him, ranging from the anxious and annoying to the deadly and doomed. This Right Here Is My…SWAG is one of those things that scares me:

On behalf of South Africans everywhere, I’d like to pass my condolences apologies. Ben claims to be American but, I have my doubts. I’ve known Americans to be a fearless bunch INVENTING phones, MOCKING the itsy bitsy spiders with their kids, and hanging out in public bathrooms during football games to warm up during the winter (good call to my freshman year professor for that recommendation) – not FEARing those things or anyone!

Americans are a proud folk who have somehow coined, trademarked, and completely monopolized the indelible “WE’RE NUMBER 1” sports chant… (patent pending). That holds true until some South Africans beat the snot out of the American “Eagles” in the Rugby World Cup as they did this past weekend with a decisive 64-0 Shutout. 64-0.. SIXTY FOUR.  GOOD GAWD… You don’t have to understand the scoring in Rugby to get how terrible that is. America, meet me in the next paragraph, if you would be so kind.

Look, America. You’re good, right? I know your favorite newsman was recently replaced by South African, Trevor Noah – which will get awkward when he comes to talk $hit to Americans, about Americans… I would never do that, America! You know me! Known me more than half my life! I love you, America! I love BASEBALLHOCKEYFOOTBALLBASKETBALL… LEBRON JAMES, and HE’S American! Right? I love the Hawks! Not the Seattle Seahawks. They’re posers, and need to give that “Go Hawks” patent up to the Iowa Hawks of the heartland of farmin, hard-working, bread-basket, plain accent, this-ain’t-heaven-but-it’s-close IOWA! But I’m scared, America.

My fear is that thanks to this recent ass-handing by my Springboks, losing your beloved Jon Stewart, and Donald Trump’s surge in the polls – I will be issued a challenge in the immortal words of Iowa quarterback, Ricky Stanzi:

I love it. I don’t wanna leave it. So, despite that EMBARRASSMENT OF INTERNATIONAL PROPORTIONS America, WE still cool, right?

Yours Sincerely,

-South African

Watch Steph Curry’s RUDE Pre-Shot Celebration!

Michael Jordan once closed his eyes while shooting free throws. Iverson is known for the step-over after crossing up a defender then draining a 3 on them. But, Steph Curry is nicer than those guys – nonetheless deadly with the shot, however. Steph Curry knows the future, and won’t be bothered by waiting for the perfect 3 point swish like the rest of the mortals in professional basketball. GIVE HIM 5, NOW!

It’s not even NBA season yet, and I get the feeling we’ll be forced to post a bunch of these by this guy. Simply deplorable behavior. Somebody stop him!