Flashback Friday: Top 10 Durag Moments Of All Time… And A Lie

Ben’s freakin out ALL MONTH about spider eyes which he describes as  “loose remnants of damned human souls” among other things that scare him, and folks again mass shootin again. My birthday is Monday, and I wanna laugh. I’ll laugh at the young me trying sleeping with a durag on to “get them waves on lock”. Then one day, I woke up with the headache those usually come with, and realized “Wait a minute.. I’m African.. My hair’s suPPOSED to be nappy AF. Skip All that!” It’s been nap city every since, on this side! Ain’t no lookin back, baby! Well maybe just this once…

Join me, and take a trip with us down memory lane on this week’s Top 10 Moments In Durag History:

  1. We all know the story of Moses parting the Red sea. It’s a story translated into over 100 languages, and even pictured… complete with him handlin those waves like the boss he was:

    2. Couple thousand years later, some jackasses missed the part of the bible that mentioned that Slavery is a terrible idea. So Harriet Tubman, had to pass them a reminder through the underground railroad – all while she kept her durag on FLEEK:

    3. Hercules was son of Zeus, Whatever. He slayed an immortal lion, and strangled a snake sent to kill him as a baby, big deal – who cares? What DOES matter is what he did with that lion’s head. While some jackasses might hang in their trophy case, Hercules was a real one:

    4. Bruce Wayne was only human, but Batman never waved his bat cape in the face of Gotham’s crime-waves NIGHTLY:

    5. The greatest basketball player in the world went and lost his damn mind in this ensemble, complete with the tote and man purse (?)… one things for sure, he’s not losing a single wave left behind that hairline:

    6. The greatest BALLA of all time was an American hero representing the great nation internationally overseas. Hey speakin of seas… waves, which he probably wasn’t nursing, since AI was all about the braids. No Matter, Durag puttin on for his country:

    7. The jiggaman invited MJ on stage at Hot 97’s Summerjam Festival. It was an iconic moment in Hip Hop History. Michael was touched… he was touched to be part of black history in such a wavey way. See him thank the jiggaman for his durag-do:

    8. You can’t spell R&B without the R. That’s a well known and understood fact of life and music. What you may NOT know, is that the pied piper debuted and finished the triple durag/scarf swag in his “Snake Remix” video. “Move ya body like a snake, ma” (while R.Kelly works on his waves… ma ):

    9. Durag Appropriation is mad WACK. Really glad this stopped being a part of pop culture. Here’s a triple shot of suckas rockin a durag knowin DAMN WELL, they had no intention, ability, or discipline to maintain waves:

    i) Vince McMahon, you should be summer-slammed for that bs. SIT DOWN:

    ii) Steven Seagall, standing next to Ja Rule is a gross misappropriation of how black folks represent themselves… also, that durag looks dumb. That means NOTHING – even in prison:

    iii) KIP…u get a pass, u bish u. As long as you’re down with Pedro, you’re somehow okay with me:

    ***Bonus BS***. This one’s a lie! It’s been floatin around the interwebs all week, and we at BSBS will be the first to exclusively call B.S. This is NOT Barack Hussein Obama rocking a durag. This is the 44th POTUS rocking baseball cap backwards, like its the 90s. Don’t forget where you heard it first, SUCKAS:

    10. The Grand Puba, head of the class, the crown jewel of all Durag moments is this man right here! What’s he lookin at? Is That a waterfall lowkey just on the other side of him? Is that the Niagara Falls? Is that half of the legendary Mobb Deep, Havoc? It sure looks like it:

    ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND. KEEP IT TIGHT – LIKE THE DURAGS.

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