4 Reasons To Be Excited 4 Colbert, The Greatest Night Show Host

So, George Bush – GREAT president, or the GREATEST president?” In the golden years of the Colbert Report,”Stephen ” the conservative, loud-mouthed, self proclaimed “truth-feeler” often asked his exasperated guests to answer that one simple question after the 5 minute mental roller coaster of their professional lives.  Tonight, Stephen Colbert debuts to answer a more important question. Here are 4 reasons there is no wrong answer:

1.  Breaking up the JIMMopoly:
Okay, that was slightly terrible, almost as terribly plastic as the content and context has become on the late night tip. The Jimmies are having a field day with ratings, thanks in part to curation for viral video viewership (say that fast 3 times).

When Letterman announced his retirement, he conceded in that old curmudgeon swagger we mentioned on his tribute. In a subsequent Rolling Stone interview he affirmed “I hear about things going viral and I think, ‘How do you do that?’ I think I’m the blockage in the plumbing.”

To date, top Jimmy is pummeling bottom Jimmy so hard in that department, that he went and created another show on a whole other network, and THAT is the #1 Show on THAT network. It’s an entire show where celebrities are lip-syncing other singer’s songs. -_- (I mean REALLY!? What’re we doin here?).

Executive Producer of The Tonight Show, Lorne Michaels now has his hands in creating SNL, subsequently Jimmy Fallon, and now grandfathering America’s karaoke machine. NO ONE MAN SHOULD HAVE ALL THAT unfunny POWER!  Since Colbert Report ended, my 10:30PM (Central) has been basically Charlie Rose only – into Seth Myers, when I’m not too busy hosting sexy parties.  We shouldn’t have to choose between marginally funny, and topically informative and edgy late night. We can have both! We will, on the Late Show With Stephen Colbert

2. Jon Stewart is gone, Long Live Jon Stewart:
This one is a piggy back of the end of the last. If Lorne Michaels is the godfather of the current of the current most powerful Late Night Family, Jon-the-Don’s territory is expanding, and FAST. Before passing the wheel to a young South African (hint: not the one writing this post currently), John tested out a Brit while he was off doing lord knows what shooting a movie in Iran (and presumably secretly brokering the Iran Nuclear Deal preparations). That “Danger”-filled bastard nailed it, and continues to nail it on his HBO “Last Week Tonight” as he beat out that channel’s late nigh-staple, Bill Maher.  Remember that edgy, topically informative AND funny 3 legged stool we mentioned above?  Nobody has got the science down pact more than Oliver with his 10-20 minute viral pieces that have shone America’s spotlight on FIFA, Mega-Churches, and Drones.  Jon’s training camp unleashed the Brit first, with these three following respectively on Comedy Central, CBS, and later this month in his old seat on The Daily Show. Jon’s pimpin ain’t dead:

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All Students of Stewart! #GOAT #jonvoyage

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3. Politically Correct Killings:

Back in 2008, Presidential hopeful John McCain skipped Letterman for Katie Couric’s short-lived 60 Minutes after a booking. BIG MISTAKE. Dave proclaimed, “…the road to the White House passes through this show” as he spent the entirety of that snubbing ripping McCain a new one to the joy of the audience and even invited snarky Keith Olbermann to indulge on the fun. And THAT’S how America got her first Black President, kids!  Stephen’s first political guest is Jeb Bush. Before ever stepping on set, he is TOAST…a soft, gently buttered Texas toast. Or maybe, a tamale, Jeb makes mistakes. The fluff bull$hit jacket that policy makers wear to these kinds of occasions will be left at coat check in the Ed Sullivan Theatre. Just watch:

4. Music And Brothas:

This is the one place current late night king is untouchable and made an impeccable choice.  It’s easy to go through the History of Rap when your best friend is honorary black superstar, Justin Timberlake, and your musical director is Hip Hop Historian, Drumming Legend, DJ, and leader of the best touring band in the world known as the Legendary Roots Crew.  Stephen is coming in swinging with a younger, cajun flavored band that will trumpet parades around Questlove’s drumset, Tariq’s mic-stand, and Kamaal’s keys (huge fan, guys). If that’s not good enough, wild guess who his first musical guest will be to set the tone? Universally acclaimed lyricist and rap perfectionist Kendrick Lamar. Need a reminder on what he did the last time he visited Stephen? Check it out, and lower those hairs on the back of your neck after:

Today we look forward to forming a long answer on the age-old question, “Stephen Colbert – GREAT night show host, or the GREATEST night show host” (Hint: No Wrong Answers 😉 ) With this first week’s line-up, we’re off to a damn good start:

Tuesday, Sept. 8  Actor George Clooney; Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush; musical performance by Jon Batiste and Stay Human with special guests

Wednesday, Sept. 9 Actress Scarlett Johansson; SpaceX and Tesla Motors CEO Elon Musk; interview with and musical performance by Kendrick Lamar

Thursday, Sept. 10  Uber CEO Travis Kalanick; musical performance by Toby Keith  

Friday, Sept. 11 Comedian Amy Schumer; author Stephen King; interview with and musical performance by Troubled Waters


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