Potato Of The Day Episode 70

lemonjuiceknockknockThis morning I witnessed a conversation between two voices in my head. I’ve transcribed it below. Warning: It was dumb.

-Begin transcript-

Ben 1: Knock Knock!
Ben 2: I don’t like Knock Knock jokes.
Ben 1: Knock. Knock.
Ben 2: Ugh, fine. Who’s there?
Ben 1: Lemon!
Ben 2: Lemon who?
Ben 1: Lemon who-se!
Ben 2: …
Ben 1: Lemon WHOce? WHO-sssssssss? Get it?
Ben 2: Who’s what?
Ben 1: No, like HOO-sssssss. Think about it. Mouth it out like sound of owl, sound of snake…
Ben 2: Hoot hiss? That doesn’t make sense. Lemon Hoot Hiss? Is that a thing?
Ben 1: You’re not doing it right. Owls go HOO. Snakes go SSSSSSSSS.
Ben 2: Snakes do not go ssssssssss. They go hiss.
Ben 1: No, that’s cats. Cats hiss when threatened, like if they see a snake ssssssssing at them.
Ben 2: No… just, no. That is definitely NOT a thing.
Ben 1: Knock Knock!
Ben 2: What.
Ben 1: Snake!
Ben 2: Snake who?
Ben 1: Snake goes ssssssssssss.
Ben 2: That’s not even a joke!
Ben 1: Correct, it’s a fact. Snakes go sssssssssss.
Ben 2: There’s not even any vowels in that word! THAT’S NOT A THING!
Ben 1: It was lemon juice. The first joke. Who-se. Juice. It’s close.
Ben 2: Oh.
Ben 1: Yeah, well…. Yeah. I guess I should go now.
Ben 2: Probably, yeah.
Ben 1: I was just trying to have fun, you know? Later man.
Ben 2: …
Ben 1: …
Ben 2: Hey, hey. Wait up! Just.. uh… well, Knock Knock.
Ben 1: For real?! Who’s there?
Ben 2: I hate myself for this but… snake.
Ben 1: SNAKE WHO?
Ben 2: Snake in the LEMONgrasssssssssssss.
Ben 1: HEYO!
Ben 2: …
Ben 1: We’re not good at Knock Knock jokes, are we?
Ben 2: Not at all.

-End transcript-

See? That WAS dumb, wasn’t it? You’re welcome.

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Sooo Cosby, This Is Awkward… Let’s Recap

That Hannibal guy’s star power has completely skyrocketed because of his years of comedic grind since he cleverly called out Bill Cosby’s hypocrisy in chastising us young black youths for baggy pants and eubonics, while he stuck his chocolate pudding pop where it don’t belong.  This 4-minute convo with Howard is the gist:

Reactions and fiasco ensued, but what it boiled down to was two camps: The Judd Apatows of the world – that were  immediately of the mindset “F that! You’re the worst kind of worst that’s ever existed, and belong in jail ASAP!“,

HEY! PHUCK YOU!
“HEY! PHUCK YOU!”

The other camp was the “well $hit… this sounds bad, but let’s just wait and… um how many is it now? Oh, double digits… A LITERAL DOZEN women have come forward? Oookaaay, and he’s sayin NOT sayin he ‘DIDN’T do it’? He just walks away from interviews bout it? *sigh*… we gotta get an answer here soon” camp Jerry Seinfeld, and Chris Rock were off this camp:

EGOT Holder, Whoopi Goldberg and former Cosby co-star Raven Symone were staunch defenders even in the face of multiple accusers.
Fast forward to this week where Whoopi maintained “he has not been proven a rapist” despite the following revelation:

Sooo Cosby, This is awkward. So many questions, but like… you wtf? What do we do with this now?  We can’t double-jeopardy, because those cases were settled but … (Note: I usually write in broken sentences to purposely mess with my readers and just allow the voice to come through, but this is genuinely confused stop-start ramblin)  I feel exactly how Chris Rock felt, however after this week’s revelation – way worse for not immediately agreeing with Judd Apatow. I’ll leave it to the pros to maintain that “you need more proof” that admitting to knowingly drugging women unbeknownst to them is at the very least teetering on the definition of rape. That’s TOO Raven. *sigh*