Morning Commute: June In The Rearview Mirror

At the end of every month, I’ll post a Spotify playlist with all of the Morning Commute songs from that month. If I can’t find a song on Spotify, I’ll replace it with a song by, or featuring, the same artist whenever possible.

Gone too soon, June. Or was it not soon enough?

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Turnip Tuesday – Krept & Konan – “Freak Of The Week” (Ft. Jeremih)

The British are coming, slowly but surely Caribbean influenced British raps is making its way across the Atlantic.  We already gave you the grime smash “Shutdown” with British-Nigerian Skepta.  The most notable of these brits is usually heard wearing the audio uniform of Grime, but these guys take it to the islands with the dancehall/reggae influence and the help of Chicago crooner Jeremih. TURN UP DEM!

It’s Official, June Is Now Shia Lebouf Month – Rat Tails, And Raps Welcome

We started the month of June with Shia’s motivation. My mans is the gift that keeps on givin so, let’s close it with Shia bussin off the top! Complete with a shout out to our Potatoes Of The Day:

“Still breakin down potatoes, like I’m phuckin Galileo”

Not sure what’s sicker and slicker, that boy’s flow or that rat-tail drapin off his dome. SHOOT-EM, SHIA!

Grand Openin, Grand Closin! Hot-Damn Ya Man, Shia CRACKED the can open again!

That was called recyclin, its allowed in rap, INTERNET! Get off my mans Shia’s SACK! LET THAT BOY BUST HIS RHYMES!

Here are some notable lines from this spoken word worth exploring in depth:

Continue reading It’s Official, June Is Now Shia Lebouf Month – Rat Tails, And Raps Welcome

Potato Of The Day Episode 66

artichokepineconeCan someone explain to me just when in the hell we started eating pine cones? Is this a new health fad I missed in between blueberry colonic cleanses and calling crazed carnivorous consumption a diet? Like for real, pine cones you guys? What’s next, licking tree bark? Catching those twirling helicopter seeds in your mouth like a trained poodle? MOWING THE LAWN WITH YOUR GODDAMNED TEETH?  Where are we going as a people, huh? What stupid depths of health madness are we succumbing to if we’re willing to do something as stupid as eating pine cones? There’s no possible scientific evidence that pine cones have a health benefit, you guys. They belong in the SOIL, not in our stomachs! Be real, SQUIRRELS don’t even eat those! We’re taking the leftovers of rodents! If suburban rats won’t sniff them, what the hell are we doing munching down those mulch makers? I just… THIS IS ALL VERY CONFUSING AND IT’S STARTING TO PISS ME OFF.

FOR REAL SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME HOW IT’S HEALTHY TO RISK A CONIFER GROWTH IN YOUR DIGESTIVE TRACK? ARE YOU PREPARED TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE CLEANING UP LOOSE PINE NEEDLES, SITTING ON SCRATCHY BLANKETS THAT BARELY COVER THE POINTY IRRITATION OF YOUR SHEDDED SPRUCE SPURS? HOW ARE YOU GOING TO FEEL WHEN YOU’VE GOT AN EVERGREEN HEMORRHOID PEAKING OUT MOUNT ANUS? YOU GONNA DECORATE THAT THING WITH STRANDS OF LIGHTS AND HAND-BLOWN GLASS ORNAMENTS? YOU GOING TO MAKE YOUR HEALTHY, HAPPY JUDEO-CHRISTIAN CHILDREN PUT WRAPPED BOXES UNDER YOUR BUTT? HEY DADDY, HERE’S ANOTHER FUCKING TIE YOU DON’T NEED! MOM SAID YOU’VE BEEN LOOKING A LITTLE HAGGARD LATELY SO SHE GOT YOU A CHAINSAW! NOW KIDS, DON’T RUIN THE SURPRISE. TELL ME HOW THAT’S HEALTHY. TELL ME HOW THAT MAKES ONE SHRED OF SENSE. TELL ME HOW THAT’S NOT A CONTINUATION OF THE SPIRALING SHIT CYCLE OF STUPIDITY WE CALL SOCIETY! TELL ME!!!

WHAT? NO, YOU CALM DOWN! I DON’T CARE IF THAT’S NOT… oh… you’re saying that’s not a… OH. Umm, okay. Give me a second here.

Sooo… you guys, we’re going to have to postpone this health craze rant for a minute. I just got word that we’re looking at an ARTICHOKE, not a pine cone. This is… well, frankly this is a little awkward now. An artichoke… yeah, that would… that would make a lot more sense. Because that’s a FOOD, and not an inedible seed pod making up a tree’s reproductive system. Whelp, I think we’re done here. Continue on with, uh, not eating pine cones and such. I’ll be over here taking a deep breath.