Potato Of The Day Episode 63

theglorioustomatilloHEY KIDS, DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS? (WHAT TIME IS IT?) IT’S TOMATILLO TIME! (HOOOORAAAAYYYYYY!!!!) TO-MA TO-MA TO-MA TOMATILLO! (TOMATILLO WE LOVE YOU!)

Well howdy dandy my friends with candy! I’m Tom A. Tillo, and you’re tuned into TOMATILLO TIME! Today we’ve got a very special guest visiting us all the way from that ethnic grocery store your parents won’t shop at! Everyone give a nice Tomatillo Time welcome to… TOMATILLO! (HI TOMATILLO!)

Great job, kids! Give yourself three tomatillo chants for participation (TO-MA, TO-MA, TO-MA!)

Alright, Tomatillo, I have to ask, HOW AWESOME IS IT TO BE A TOMATILLO?

[…]

That’s fascinating stuff! You know, I just have to say it. I look at you sitting there, and you know what I see? I see a real star, a bright burning flame! I see a philosopher, a wise, aged observer of the world! I see a rebelling artist, a renegade casting aside the bloody red of tomato history! I see more than a tomatillo when I look at you, Tomatillo. I see a window to the salsa verde of the soul! Kids what do you see? (WE SEE THE GLORIOUS TOMATILLO!)

That’s RIGHT! Give yourself three more tomatillo chants! (TO-MA, TO-MA, TO-MA!)

Tomatillo, you have to tell me, when did you first realize you were special?

[…]

Wow! So young and so bold! How do you do it, Tomatillo? How do you balance it all? How do you maintain  your lifestyle, a spicy, vibrant dance of living green, with the low-key profile you maintain? TELL US THE SECRET TO YOUR WAYS! (TELL US HOW TO LIVE TOMATILLO!)

[…]

Oh Tomatillo, that makes so much sense. How could we have been so blind? HOW COULD WE HAVE FAILED TO SEE? The secret, the key to unlocking it all, THE HIDDEN MESSAGE IN THE GREEN SAUCE, it was in front of us all along, wasn’t it? It’s as simple as shedding our skin! WE NEED TO REMOVE THE CAYLX!  KIDS, LET ME HEAR WHAT WE NEED TO DO! (LET’S PULL FREE OUR BODIES FROM OUR PAPER HUSKS! LET’S SHED OUR SKIN! LET’S BE AS FREE AS THE TOMATILLO!)

GIVE ME THE CHANT ONCE MORE! GIVE IT TO ME WHILE I BURN AWAY THE PAPERED FLESH THAT HOLDS MY GREEN INSIDES! GIVE IT TO ME WHY I’LL DANCE AT THE ALTER OF THE INNER-GREEN! GIVE IT TO ME NOW, CHILDREN! ALL TOGETHER, AS ONE! LIKE THE TOMATILLO, NOW! (TO-MA! TO-MA! TO-MA! WE LOVE YOU TOMATILLO!!!)

EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT WORK CHILDREN! IGNORE THE RUNNING RED! IGNORE THE BLEED! THAT’S MY TOMATO SELF, A FAILURE IN THE EYES OF THE TOMATILLO! SOON, SOON I’LL BE GREEN! SOON, I’LL BE TOMATILLO FOREVER! TUNE IN NEXT WEEK CHILDREN! TUNE IN FOREVER!

[…]

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