This song is about the week. You know that right? It’s right there in the title and hook, dummy! In fact, its DIRECTLY about this Humpday. Think About It! “I Want You, I want you so baaad”. That’s a dedication to Friday and her sexy weekend friends. “She’s SO…heavyyyyyy”, that’s Monday and Tuesday’s bum asses. They’re your past, that’s weighing on you, making you think you can never move on from them. But, you can – because of your desire for weekend sweetness. See it now? YOU’RE WELCOME!
Whether it’s mercilessly roasting Floyd Mayweather‘s reading abilities, or calling out #1 Show Empire, Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson has mastered the art of internet trolling. This comes naturally as trolling is just an internet version of the more ancient art of diss records native to Hip Hop that he is so seasoned in.
This week, his target is one of his favorite in both arenas, Sean “Diddy/Puffy/P.Diddy/Puff Daddy” Combs. 50 Cent has had a rocky, but interesting relationship with Puffy for a while. Before making it big, 50 Cent was a song-writer for him briefly – and they were label-mates at Interscope Records at some point. Outside of that, they have been competitive in many other arenas, including the lucrative premium vodka ownership (Combs – Ciroc, Jackson – Effen) and Electronics (Combs – Diddy Beats, Jackson – SMS Audio).
So when trouble in Diddy’s paradise came raining down via Diddy attacking a UCLA Football coach with Kettlebells for allegedly kicking his son out of practice, it’s no surprise 50 Cent got his dancing shoes. He’s all about the not-so-subtle shots:
Then the definite shot referencing his audio past like: (Chill Found) Then when Diddy’s buddy Rick Ross got arrested coincidentally on the same weak, he couldn’t help himself: (Chill Restored)
Can’t we all just get along? No? Fine, we’ll grab our popcorn, then!
Hold up, did no one tell Spring Mix that the summer solstice was last weekend? Oh crap, that’s not good. Get me a phone! I need to call Larry over in accounting. Oh you’re right, I do have a cell phone. I don’t think we can afford an out-of-season guest star. This isn’t good. We’re already running over budget, Spring Mix. You shouldn’t be here. Not until the next solar year at least. Wait, that’s faulty math. A year from now will be summer again. THIS IS WHY I NEED LARRY! Why isn’t my phone working? Oh great, I’m out of minutes. WHO RUNS OUT OF MINUTES? What the hell year is this anyway? No, don’t even open your salad mouth. This is NOT the year of the Spring Mix.
Oh praise Priapus, you’ve got Larry on the line? What’s he saying? Can we keep Spring Mix or what? SPEAK YOU UNIDENTIFIED THIRD PARTY STORY CONSTRUCT! Okay, this is getting ridiculous. Just give me the damn phone. Larry, give it to me straight, can we keep Spring Mix aboard? Yes, Larry, I know the solstice was last weekend. Well, no, obviously no one told Spring Mix. Yeah, he’s here. Says he’s ready to work. Wait, wait, wait, slow down. What are you telling me, Larry? We can’t afford Spring Mix? Damn it. Larry, hold up. I think I’ve got a solution.
Let’s say we just use a little Red Oak Lettuce, a little Mizuna, a little Radicchio, and a quick cameo from Red Chard? How’s that looking? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT’S STILL SPRING MIX? Okay, okay, drop Red Oak Lettuce, give me Green Oak Lettuce, and sub out the Radicchio for a close up with Arugula. NO, LARRY, I’M NOT AN IDIOT. What do you mean that’s still Spring Mix? IT ABSOLUTELY IS NOT. That’s Mixed Greens at best, Larry. MIXED GREENS. Are you trying to tell me we can’t afford goddamned MIXED GREENS, Larry? WELL NO, I DON’T THINK IT’S NECESSARY TO YELL ALL THE TIME. Just answer the damn question! Oh, okay. That’ll work. I’ll let him know. Thanks, Larry.
Spring Mix, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Given solar positioning in regards to the equator and blah blah blah, technical accounting mumbo jumbo, we just can’t afford to call you Spring Mix anymore. Yeah, I know, I’m sorry, too. I know those things don’t appear to be related at all. But that’s just the business. We’re going to have to label you Mixed Greens.
But hey! Look at the bright side! Now I can afford to eat you!
Well well well! Lil Mama’s all grown up (word to Bieber). This Humpday, the young songstress just wants to look good for ya in that skin-tight-dress. This sounds like a left-over/bonus-track from the 50 Shades of Grey Soundtrack with the echoing minors that require dimlights. “Trust Me I can take you there”… we’ll see bout that soon enough, Selena. Let’s hear more.