Why I’m Leaving Earth: Redneck Boot Sandals

That’s it, yall. It’s been real. Don’t get me wrong, I love humans. I’ve got plenty of human friends, and even some of my family is of human descent. I think humans are great and have offered life many great things. Like poetry, and music. That’s humans. Cheesecakes. Humans! Maxi dresses, and beaches? That’s humans. Well, not beaches – those are naturally occuring, but sand castles are not. Those are DEFINITELY human inventions, and I’ve enjoyed those at the beach, so. Still… humans. Nothing against humans, let’s be clear. But THIS $HIT RIGHT HERE? THIS is my line in the sand. THIS is the rubican. This is it! I’ve tried to get along with the worst of you. I’ve tried to understand the most despicable among the crowd.

Then you tried being “unique” and playing god with this:

redneck sandal bs kitchen benandsiyablog

Which went onto ruin our beaches like so:

redneck boot sandal beach benandsiyablog

I know some Martians, and heard of some folks that go by the Neptunes, and one of my dogs reps Pluto hard. So I’ve got plenty of places to go. Don’t worry about me. Ben, I’ll beam the rest of the blog posts from the other side of the atmosphere moving forward. I hope that’s cool. But, those pictures above? DEFINITELY NOT COOL.
If you wanna join the rest of your earthling brotheren, feel free to check out the official page for this atrocity HERE.

*take off*

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