Potato Of The Day Episode 54

elopingmelonIf you really start to look at them, you’ll find that cantaloupes are wonderfully unique creatures. There’s their twine-like, hardened skin, tough and uninviting. There’s their brilliant pumpkin insides, a pulsating orange mess of seeds and pulp, a dangling silly string ball of intestines. And there’s the name itself, cantaloupe, British in spelling, American in popularity, tinged with a first syllable of such negativity. CANT-a-loupe. How does something so wildly appreciated in breakfasts and fruit salads get dinged with a name like that? Its closest friend in the whole world, muskmelon, got stung by the same naming bee. Musk. Yeah, that’s appetizing. Why do we hurt our melon’s self-esteem like that? Why do we brand them such awful names? Who’s to say a cantaloupe deserves treatment like that?

Even the way we physically display cantaloupes leaves a lot to be desired. We stack these hardened, round fruit eggs up in large grocery store pyramids, making them totter and balance for our amusement. Why do we try to mold their shapes? Why do we force everything to be something it’s not? Can’t a sphere just be a sphere? Enough with the melon pyramids and square boxes. Let’s build a world that better suits the melon. Let’s create an environment for a melon life worth living.

Cantaloupes are soft, delicate creatures. They just want to fit in. They just want to be loved. Yet we cast them aside, time after time, holing them up in fruit quarantine, shelving them only with melon family members, watermelon, muskmelon, honeydew. Well no more. It’s time to let cantaloupes and all their melon brethren shine. It’s time to let them smile, to dance, to be merry and free. It’s time to let them play in rounded boxes or roam freely through the countryside until it’s their choice to be eaten. It’s time to let our cantaloupes find love, not just of life, but in themselves and each other. Who are we to take love away from our melons? Who are we to say they can’t pair off with Galias or Crenshaws? Who are we to say a cantaloupe can’t elope?

Love our CAN-aloupes. And let them love each other. The world can always use a little more love.

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