Are you having a bad day? I sure as fuck am. It’s been one of those days where every single little inconvenience and annoyance, every forced interaction with miscreant dumbasses, human puddles of piss that deserve to be flushed, has piled up inside me, explosive powder packed deeper and deeper in my gut, silently rumbling, turning me into a landmine waiting for one small misstep before I explode. Yeah, it’s one of those fucking days. And it sure as fuck didn’t help that some UN-NAMED CO-BLOGGER asked me to do a piece of shit Throwback Thursday post, even though he KNOWS that I hate artificial social media group experiences like Throwback Thursday. It’s like he intentionally chose the one thing he knew would irritate me the most to write. You know what, FUCK IT. I’m going in.
THROWBACK THURSDAYS ARE FUCKING STUPID. THEY’RE INSIGNIFICANT FLEETING MOMENTS OF ENTERTAINMENT FOR DUMB PEOPLE WHO DON’T HAVE THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN LIFE, MORONS SO VAPID AND EMPTY THEY JUST SHUFFLE BACK THROUGH THE NOSTALGIC PILES OF BULLSHIT THAT CLUTTER THEIR VACANT BRAINS, PICKING OUT RANDOM CHUNKS OF LONG-TERM STORAGE TRITE TO SHARE WITH THE WORLD. REMEMBER THIS? YES, WE ALL REMEMBER IT BECAUSE IT WAS A POPULAR MOMENT IN HUMAN HISTORY YOU WORTHLESS SQUEEZE OF CUM DRIP.
Woah, sorry, I blacked out. What happened? ANYWAY… If you’re having a one of those days where you just publicly blogged an entire paragraph in all caps that ended in the words “squeeze of cum drip”, you might want to heed the bedtime magic that Slick Rick spins on the classic track “Children’s Story” before you go postal. In fact, listening to Slick Rick’s smooth, Mother Goose flow might even calm you down a bit. It might make you remember why it’s nice to look backwards sometimes, to place yourself mentally back into a pocket of time where life was easy and stress-free. Or it might just make you more upset because poverty, race relations, and police violence? I DON’T FUCKING KNOW. IS IT FUCKING FRIDAY YET?