Potato Of The Day Episode 49

limeopsYou want to know a secret? Limes are a lot more dangerous than they’d have you think. They’re a stealth weapon, trained in assuming a most unassuming look. They sheath their dark side away, playing nice with cilantro and coconuts. But don’t believe that act. Not even for second. Because every lime you see, whether dancing alongside tacos or tottering gracefully on the edge of a gin and tonic, is a deadly secret agent trained in the covert ops.

They start young, mastering the skills of citrus camouflage, hiding away in plain sight. They mingle with the other citrus fruits, mimicking the shape of lemons and kumquats. They learn how to make themselves appealing, playing up to your subconscious desire for refreshment. They squirm their way into your life, sneaking into colas and cocktails, waiting silently, lurking, tempting you to let them in, tempting you to drink them up. And once they’re in your body, they’ve got you. The blood hides no secrets from a trespassing lime drop.

But perhaps you fancy yourself a clever one, immune to liquid lust? It doesn’t matter. If they want to, they can take you down. All it takes it one swift squeeze, a peel pinch, and they’re squirting death straight into your eye. TAKE THAT IRIS! KUNG-POW PUPIL! CORNEA JUDO CHOP!  And just like that, you’re on the verge of being dropped. You’re disoriented. You’re disabled. You’re down for the count. That’s the way of the lime. You can beg for mercy then, but the lime never stops. No, it keeps coming. The lime degrades you, attacking open nicks and cuts, spraying the liquid citrus scorch, stinging away until you’ve had more than enough. At that point, you give in. At that point, the lime has won. At that point, the lime has exactly what it wants.

Power. The world is controlled by those who have consumed limes, by those who have fallen to the frightful wrath of the green leathery fruit. But those limes aren’t just consumed and discarded. They stay. They take hold. They control. Every decision, every action, every moment, it’s all influenced by what the lime wants. This is their world. And their conquering it drop by tiny drop.

Think about it. Or don’t. I doubt very much that’s what your lime wants…

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