Folks, it is on! This is bigger than me and some closeted feline-fearing enabler of the beasts. Folks, it’s been a running misconception that I FEAR the beasts. Au-Contrar, I’m ready for them! I’m ready to throw everything we’ve got at em, and I only hope to get YOU just as ready! New Zealander Colin Murdoch did his part with his invention. Jane Goodall helped us keep our friends close and enemies closer, under the guise of “animal activism” 😉 . Nice going, Jane! Now we know more of their plans for a PLANET OF THE APES! And ofcourse, Siegried and Roy were betrayed when these cuddly cats couldn’t shed their… STRIPES!
“In a leap for robotic development, the MIT researchers who built a robotic cheetah have now trained it to see and jump over hurdles as it runs — making this the first four-legged robot to run and jump over obstacles autonomously”
So here we are at an impasse. We must co-exist with these animals as our entertainment, and show of good grace towards our “interest” in “diversity”, to soothe the tree-huggin nature-nazis and clueless bloggin denialists alike. Our brightest minds at the Massachussettes Institute of Technology are getting us closer to being war ready for the inevitable World War Zoo! ABOUT TIME! By combining the best of our ingenuity in robotics, and using the cats own capabilities against them, we are tirelessly working to be leaps and bounds ahead of the BeastKrieg. Without further adieu, BEHOLD our jumping, sprinting, rumbutious robotic ally in the coming BeastKrieg:
Google acquired Boston Dynamics, the company that made the first generation of these, a few months ago. They also happen to be currently in cahoots with the military’s ultra-secret R&D wing, DARPA (US Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency). So before the War against the animals, they’ll be sure to test these out on HUMAN subjects. If you’re concerned how they’ll find some willing participants, don’t worry. As I mentioned above, this is a collaboration between information gate-keepers (Google), and information seekers (U.S. Government). They now know everything about all of us already. So get ready for some exciting exercises on that end, because nothing could possible go wrong! 😀