Hey Ben, Know What Else Cats Eat? BABIES. HUMAN BABIES!

We are humans, you and I. Yes YOU, reading this now. We have come a long way from the caves, and through it all we have had to face the wrath of creatures longing to feast upon our entrails. We managed to tame some, and keep others at bay, but make no mistake, folks! Whether it’s today’s cats, or their saber-toothed forefathers before them – coursing in their veins is a longing to fulfill their mandate to dethrone us from the crown of the animal kingdom.

So, when they purr in your laps, they may fool some. When they try to convince us that they’re “just like us” with the aid of OUR human made techno and ice cream, that may convince the more gullible of us. But the REAL humans out there know! Us hard working folks, raising cute babies KNOW the truth.  We have staved off this battle of the beasts since our club-wranglin, mammoth-hunting ancestors brought about agriculture to offer these monsters separate but equal portions of this peaceful planet. It’s clear by the videos below, that these cats are anything BUT benign, BEN! In the words of Marvin Gaye (A HUMAN), WHAT’S GOIN ON? SAVE THE CHILDREN!

New Zealand: “He preferred to eat her.”

YOU THINK? YOU THINK that’s what that beast preferred, funny talkin man?

Oregon: “Trying to fit her powerful jaws, around young Jack’s head.”

Why would that lioness do that? To carry young Jack to his crib? Didn’t think so!

Jackass-land: “You want this, baby? Ya can’t have it!”

Oh yea, funny guy? Let’s move that glass for a minute and see how funny your joke is.

Proud Parents: “Unprotected baby… He wants to eat our baby.”

Anybody got the number to social services?

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