JR Smith And Analogies: A Chat That Goes Awry

JRSMITH
-Begin Chat Transcription-

Ben
I spent all night brainstorming about JR Smith, but it looks like you already covered it. Normal grammar and capitalization caveats aside, that Cav’s celebration post was a dope format. I give it two JR Smiths out of ten lampshades.  That’s mathematically off the party charts.

Siya
Clearly… because JR Smith is a nuclear reactor.

Ben
Truth. JR Smith is to life as a bullet is to dessert.

Siya
Praise Jaden

Ben
JR Smith is to basketball as lemons are to mice.

Siya
Nope… ya phucked up there.

Ben
Lemons and mice go hand in hand, Siya. But only tangentially. Just like how JR Smith is to the ocean as a squid is to the eye of a hurricane.

Siya
Okay. I’m… I’m just gonna go now. You’re clearly possessed.

Ben
JR Smith is to the Hobbit trilogy as an accordion is to the morning dew! DONT YOU SEE IT SIYA?

Siya
Wait… is there any other kind of dew?

Ben
Mountain Dew.

Siya
That’s a bottled soda, Ben. Dew’s like… strictly an overnight thing, right?

Ben
Well it’s a KIND of dew. But in nature, no. No other dews. Many dewds though. Like JR Smith.

Siya
With that logic, you’d call the soda Sierra Mist a kiiind of mist…

Ben
Well it is.

Siya
Get your $hit together!

Ben
So what I’m really trying to say is that JR Smith is to bottled soda as the moon is to a beehive.  You know?

Siya
JR Smith is to this convo as I am to logging off.

-End Chat Transcription-

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