Humpday Hymn: Frank Ocean – “Swim Good”

It’s like that on Humpdays. Sometimes you just wanna do like a fish, and catch a wave (I really need to get some swim lessons at this age, but I probably won’t). This was the grammy-winner before his masterpiece of a debut album, on his equally acclaimed mixtape, “Nostalgia/Ultra” which also contained the smash hit and equally Humpday Hymn worthy, “Novacane”

Since we got your feet wet, let’s just go ahead and make this a double shot with that classic below. Swim Good!

Continue reading Humpday Hymn: Frank Ocean – “Swim Good”

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Potato Of The Day Episode 38

broccoliartBroccoli is that dude/female dude that shows up one day with an alien abduction haircut, a shear and gel follicle sculpture spray painted deep shades of decidedly non-hair spectrum colors, twisting and twirling designs clipped, trimmed, and burnt into the grass surrounding the cranial vault. You know the type of haircut I’m talking about. The type of haircut that gets grandpa hot and bothered, boiling to the point where he whistles gentle racist whispers to himself about the Vietcong. The type of haircut Dennis Rodman births in his wet dreams, dreadlocked delusions escaping the nocturnal world, driving wildly through reality in a tie-dyed minivan on a road of acid gummy bears.  The type of haircut that latches into your mind, a parasitic eraser, wiping clean your ability to think of anything else.

You kind of hate it the first time you see it. You murmur “douchebag” to yourself. You laugh. But deep down, deep down you wish you have the small-intestinal fortitude to actually brand your skull that way. Shh, no, no. It’s okay. I’m that way, too. We’re all that way, the large majority of us. We’re not the chosen ones. We’re not the flowering broccoli heads of the world. We’re the practical people. We’re the rational. The sane. The ones who’d keep their hallucinatory hairs in the imagination cloud storage where they belong.

Oh sure, we can veer from our lanes you and I. I did once. And I missed the mark. I had a barber carve a Nike swoosh into the back of my head as a child, a furry homage to Michael Jordan and my love of commercialized factory fabrications. Yes, I branded myself with a brand in a vapid, desperate attempt at artistic stylization. You know what that resulted in? Nothing. Because hollow, imitated art isn’t art at all. It’s a forgery. It’s inorganic. It’s not befitting of Broccoli.

So Broccoli, you know what, keep doing your thing. Keep spraying your artistic insanity across the world, bathing the lot of us normal folk in your hairy holy water. Keep living your life with lusting locks. Keep doing you.  Because that’s the Broccoli way. Someday, I hope I can say it’s the Ben way, too.

Steph Curry’s Daughter Stole The Show, And I Hate It

OGER-ALERT! Come on, its distracting. MVP Steph Curry just crushed and helped lock in the first close win at home against the Houston Rockets. Just to be clear, it was hilarious, and she’s a ridiculously adorable 2 year old.  All-Star Weekend? Just won the 3 point contest? Regular Season last game? Just won the NBA Finals? PERFECT! It’s a celebration!

But, it’s late (reporters gotta hand in quotes, basketball fans are listening to what the MVP has to say about out-playing his runner-up in the conference final), and overcoming a 15-point deficit.  There were at least two occasions when Steph had to break the flow of the press conference to ask a reporter to repeat questions, or look for the little cute bugger duckin under desks.  Being MVP and all, maybe that’s an unwritten right that comes with the award. But the rest of yall, better not start doing this! Definitely not the losers!

“Um… yall act like you never seen a cute toddler before”

AAAAH FORGET IT! Look at that yawn! That sneeze!! That silly wave!!! WERE THOSE DOLPHIN NOISES??? Never mind, Riley. Do watcha want, girl! (Maybe I’m just jealous my bedtime was a lot more strict at 2 years old).

Watch Jamie Foxx’s Uncanny John Legend, Mick Jagger, And More Impressions

“I won an Oscar and a Grammy, and I’m sleepin witcha mammyyy”

That used to be one of the promo-spots for Jamie’s FoxxHole Radio Sirius Satellite channel.  Its easy to see and hear why Foxx was worthy of at least two of those, when he stopped by The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon and The Roots.  Whether its John Legend’s impression of the “Toys R Us theme”, or L.A. Clippers coach Doc Rivers’ dead on hoarse-since-a-baby voice and mannerisms – its easy to see why Foxx is the most dynamic talent in Showbiz (and why its definitely NOT BLAKE’S FAULT).  JUST WATCH THIS till the end, where it looks like he’s not sure where to take a Jennifer Hudson challenge, but then…

fallon fallout fox jennifer hudson benandsiyablogshit

[Foxx is not new to the this game. Peep some bonus footage of various impressions of the mood-setting “Brady Bunch” theme song, from his “I Might Need Security” Comedy special below]

Continue reading Watch Jamie Foxx’s Uncanny John Legend, Mick Jagger, And More Impressions