I’m going on vacation this week, leaving our fledgling blog in Siya’s hands, but I’m not worried about it. I think.
Well my long overdue vacation that I definitely should have learned more German for finally starts tomorrow. Long overdue? Yeah. I mean… I work hard. Sometimes. Don’t look at me that way. You don’t know! Oh sure, I don’t ever type a single word for Morning Commutes, but that’s just me letting art speak for itself. Or whatever. [Insert other argument about my productivity here.] (Shit, I should have gone back and edited this. It looks pretty damn lazy when you leave liner notes in the middle of a paragraph.) Okay yeah, perhaps I’m resting on the laurels of a little more than 100 posts. BUT I STILL EARNED THIS, DAMNIT! I HAVE A JOB OUTSIDE OF BLOGGING WHERE I FART SOMETIMES. Are we done with the link dumping yet? Nope! Fuck, it’s exhausting to write like Siya.
And a lot of Siya’s writing is what you have to look forward to over the next week and a half! (That’s a little thing called pulling off the transition.) Because regardless of whether or not I’ve actually earned a break from normal life, you won’t be hearing much of me over the next week or so. Sure, I’ll schedule out some Morning Commute tracks and you’ll be able to ride the Potato Town train all the way to the conclusion of Potato Noir, but that’s really it. To quote Jay-Z for no real reason, “Poof… vamoose son of a bitch!”
To plug a tiny hole in the immense gap that is my absence, we’ve enlisted the help of
our former radio intern friend, Leland, who will be providing a breakdown of overlooked summer movies next week. Which if I’m being honest, I’d rather read than one of these lost in the woods, oops we used edible objects to mark our path out despite the fact we’re in a region dense with hungry birds, diary entries. Especially this one. You guys, I’m going on vacation. OF COURSE I MAILED THIS ONE IN. WE’RE TALKING ABOUT LITERALLY NOTHING. AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY LIKE SEINFELD OR WALE CO-OPTING SEINFELD’S GIMIC (BIG SHOUT OUT TO CO-OPTING ROLE REVERSAL THOUGH).
I’m sure Siya will also do whatever those things are that Siya does. My guess is that you’ll be reading a whole lot about his irrational fear of animals. He’ll probably dig up an obscure video clip of a meerkat shoplifting apricots, then claim that animals are whittling away at our food supply, weakening us for their inevitable rise to power. (Note for Siya: That’s not an actual video. Don’t waste the hours I know you’d spend deep in the depths of the YouTube dungeons searching for that treasure. It does not exist. Move on.)
Normally, a big vacation might push me into a pre-travel panic attack (WE COME FROM THE LAND OF LINK DUMPS), but I’m not worried about this. Nero didn’t burn Rome in one night! (Looking that up right now to see if that’s factually accurate… annnnd… Rome burned for six days and seven nights, the exact amount of time I’m gone, and oh shit now I’m totally now freaking out. SIYA DO NOT BURN THE BLOG DOWN. UNPLUG THE IRON BEFORE YOU LOG OUT.) The only part I’m stressed out about is the fact that I edit Siya’s writing before we post. I don’t do this because Siya is a bad writer. He’s not. He’s dope. But he Likes to Capitalize Random Words in sentences For Reasons I Haven’t figured out Yet. SO LOOK FORWARD TO THAT. Tweet your favorite randomly capitalized words to @benandsiyablog on Twitter using the hashtag #PHUCK, and WIN NOTHING BUT A HYPOTHETICAL HIGH FIVE.
Okay time to wrap this up with a big, introspective moment of truth about how letting go of stress, treating yourself, seeing the world, and trusting the people in your life to come through for you when you’re away are all signs of personal growth. Was that enough to turn this into a parable? No? Well, fuck it. I still need to pack so that’s going to have to work. Seriously, packing should definitely be my top priority. I once went away for a weekend and forgot to bring a single pair of pants. That’s a 100% true story. I FORGOT PANTS. That’s like the FIRST thing you’re supposed to pack.
Anyway, I’m going on vacation this week and I’m leaving our fledgling blog in Siya’s hands, but I’m not worried about it.