This is the best NSFW commercial for the taxi mobile-app possible!
K-Camp has made it clear he likes that “Money Baby” before. Apparently, even if that means he becomes an Uber Driver… of a stolen Escalade. Not sure how long you could keep up that GPS-tracked money scheme, buuut ALL IN MODERATION, RIGHT? Speaking of which, be safe this lavish weekend. Just do a Lil Bit.
By Golly, I do believe there’s a potato on that bench, good sir!
A potato? How quaint! But wherest ever did it come from?
One can only imagine! Perhaps it fell from yonder tree!
What a marvelous imagination thoust has! But I wouldn’t hold a candle to that theory, my friend!
I jest not, good sir! Note the effervescent bloom. Change is afoot! Perhaps yonder tree holds some mysteries deep in her womb!
Aye, change doth sprout in spring. But it would be far more miraculous than mysterious if a tree didst birth a potato.
Pray tell, how doth thou sleep with no dreams in thy head? Unhand thy rigid grip on reality! Let thy mind twinkle in wondrous delight!
Wait, why are we talking like this?
Steady thy tongue, what sayeth thou?
Dude, seriously, what’s going on here?
Nothing but reveries and magic, good sir! A potato hath dropt from a tree!
Okay, this is getting pretty damn stupid. Potatoes grow in the ground. I know you know that.
I know not but what the mind’s eye winks in shade of the moon!
You know what… I’m done. I’m out of here. Enjoy your tree potatoes, jackass.
Fare thee well, good sir! Til the morrow, I presume?
Go fuck yourself.
WE’VE DONE 25 POTATOES OF THE DAY YOU GUYS. THAT’S SO MANY MORE THAN THE ZERO SIYA WANTED ME TO WRITE. I’M SO PUMPED ABOUT THIS SHIT. A BIG THANK YOU TO THE READER WHO SENT IN TODAY’S POTATO PHOTO. WHY AM I YELLING? BECAUSE POTAOTES GET ME JACKED UP, DUDES.
In other potato news, much like spring has transformed that tree, temporary change is coming to the Potato Of The Day format. Be sure to tune in next week as we embark on the start of a ten part murder mystery: POTATO NOIR.
Before we get started, I want to apologize for posting a GIF instead of the video. Yeah, that’s a long GIF, but the video is longer and has a
horrid woman dying mammal screeching constantly in the background. This is one case where you definitely don’t need the sound. If you’re one of those people who just absolutely cannot, for any reason, watch moving images without sound, then consider seeking some psychological help because there are issues there that need to be resolved (and cue up some Benny Hill because this shit is a comedy of errors).
I want you to maintain your focus on the puppy sporting the swank polka dot bow tie. I know that’s hard with all of those other puppies flying around like snowflakes in a blizzard, but the bow tie guy is the one that’s going to prove my point about animals being stupid. Watch how little thought goes into that paw first cannonball, watch the INSTANT regret flood into that puppy’s face as four whole inches of H2O creep up its fur, and finally, watch its PATHETIC attempt to scurry out of the water. THAT’S WHY YOU DON’T SKIP HIND LEG DAY AT THE GYM YOU ANEMIC ANIMAL ASS.
Siya, stop your scare tactic bullshit about animals. I don’t care about nuclear foxes, or glass smashing gorillas, or frisky pheasants. Animals aren’t uprising. THEY CAN’T EVEN GET OUT OF THE POOL.