We’ve previously established that I’m not afraid to admit when I’ve been a dummy. But here’s a new one: I’m about to admit that I was wrong. I know, I know, that’s such a breakthrough coming from a narcissist like me. I’m so brave. Oh, what was a I wrong about? Just about how I unfairly labeled potato chips as lifeless, hangover victims. Look at THIS potato chip! Look how magnificent it looks, absorbing splendid spring sun rays, basking in the baking heat. This chip… so relaxed, but so powerful, illuminated against the drab graying blacktop, peering outward at the reflection of nature, thinking to itself, “Yeah, I might have started there, but here I am now, conquering the world of man.” This chip… it changes everything.
Sure, there have been other potatoes that have ridden in cars. But never a potato product that so completely owns the car it’s sitting in. Would you tell that chip to move its car? I wouldn’t. That chip belongs there. That chip belongs anywhere.
I guess my only concern about how this chip is living its life is sun protection. That’s a lot of UV Natural that tiny guy is drinking up. How about a little sunscreen, dude? No sense in becoming a Mesquite BBQ and Melanoma flavored crisp. Sure, your golden brown color is really coming in, but think long term. You might be pretty now, but what are you going to look like in twenty years? Probably a chip, but I’m not going to say that for certain. I’m done being wrong.