Oh damn, those are some NEXT LEVEL potatoes. I checked my email this morning and this badass pic was there, a response to a throwaway line about potato pizza in a past potato post. Those potatoes right there are GOING IN. What other potatoes do you know living a life that luxurious? All bathed in cheese, rocking that hot, fresh pizza look? Not many. Probably 1% of all potatoes. That’s just a downright demonstrative display of wealth. I’m not even mad, I’m just jealous.
Those potatoes don’t have to work ever again. They’re in full time chill mode, living off marinara and crust interest. They’re not potato-rich. They’re potato-wealthy. Ain’t many potatoes socializing in the same circles as Pepperoni, Sausage, and Canadian Bacon. Those are all proteins. These potatoes don’t care. They’ve George Jeffersoned the culinary game. They’re living in the same gated neighborhoods as meat.
Those potatoes right there are the damn American Dream. “Sure they look pretty, but do they have any actual talent?” you scoff. Scoff away hater, you know if you looked that good you’d be laying out on pizza slices all day too. There’s no shame in that. There’s nothing wrong with taking advantage of being beautiful. That’s just business savvy. That takes more than luck. Selling out is a skill, scoffer. Go spew your scoffing somewhere else. Leave me and these NEXT LEVEL potatoes alone!
If you’ve got potatoes you want me to look at, email them to firstname.lastname@example.org.