Well this is starting to get old… Look, Sweet Potato, sit down. We need to talk.
It’s just… I guess what I’m trying to say is… well… this isn’t working out. We’ve talked about it before. About how you lie about your color, how you pretend to be something you’re not, how you wear those fake labels. I just can’t put up with this routine anymore. Nope. I just can’t.
You and I both know why you decided to become a fry. No, don’t try to twist this on me. Yes, I said I found Crinkle Cut Fries attractive. No, I didn’t say I wanted YOU to become a fry. Yes, I’m sure you’re delicious as a fry, but once again you’re missing the point. I said Crinkle Cut Fries are so hot right now. Not Sweet Potato Fries are so hot right now. Stop trying to be something you’re not. You didn’t even get the crinkle cut look.
You’re a sweet potato, Sweet Potato. But maybe you’re just too sweet for me. That’s not really how potatoes are supposed to taste. You’re your own thing. You’re better off without me. You’re better off outside of the Potato Of The Day world. Someday, you’re going to look back at all of this, and you’re going to laugh. You will. You’re going to be okay. You’re going to find a nice yam or kumara and settle down, making Thanksgiving dinners and holiday pies.
But this has to stop. At least for now. And I know this is hard to hear, but you have to hear it. It’s not me, it’s you. It’s your fault for not being true to yourself. But if you ever change, if you ever decide to be yourself, if that day ever comes, call me. I’ve always thought we would make pretty good friends.