Shit you guys, I think I’m trouble. I took a pill I found in a trashcan. It was just sitting there, so enticing, calling to me. Why did I do that? WHO DOES THAT? Do these potatoes look normal to you guys? I think I might be hallucinating. Those potatoes sure don’t look right to me. I’M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT, MAN.
This isn’t good guys. There’s way too many colors on those potatoes right there. Shh, shh, shh. Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP. I just realized what’s going on here. Those are alien potatoes, man. ALIENS. How else do you explain those tentacles? Oh god, they’re probably alien anal probes. PROBETATOES.
I know yesterday I was all like, “BLERG, LEZ EXPAND THE POTATO UNIVERSE,” but guys, I didn’t think this would happen. I didn’t think a martian mothership would plant extraterrestrial eggs in our grocery stores! We need to prep for the all-out alien assault! WHAT IS OUR ALIEN CONTINGENCY PLAN?
Waaiiit… is any of this even real? Am I actually seeing this? If you blog in the forest, does anyone retweet you? Do aliens bleed electric thoughts? DO BUGS DRINK WATER? Can a garblkjan ezinnel…a;vflvk ldskfj…..
[Siya Note: Don’t do drugs you find in a trashcan.]