The weekend is here. Hopefully it’s sunny wherever it is that you are, and you can just cruise the highways, windows down, music turned up, wind in your hair, potato by your side. But just because it’s nice out doesn’t mean you get to forgo safety. YOU STILL NEED TO BUCKLE THE FUCK UP.
Reality check time. During an average lifetime you only get 3,900 weekends. That’s straight up depressing as fuck. Seriously, it’s okay to feel really sad right now. Let that hurt wash over you. We live a cruel, meaningless existence. Are you done moping yet? No…? Really. The faster you get over that fact, the faster we can move on to my next point. STILL not done being depressed? Dude. I’m moving on anyway.
Sure, we have a finite supply of weekends. But there’s no reason to blow through those weekends faster than you need to! Buckle yourself and your potato up! Let’s all stay safe out there. Let’s maximize the number of potential weekends we have left, milking every last moment of sweet, sweet escape from that 9 to 5 prison we call the week. Don’t turn your potatoes into mashed potatoes. Mashed potatoes only keep for like… a week. Tops.
Look at that little guy above. Look how the sun is splashing across his red face. He’s so relaxed. So chill. And yet… so safe, so snug, so secured against the sins of the streets. BE LIKE THAT POTATO AND WEAR A SEAT BELT YOU DUMMIES.