Potato Of The Day Episode 9

organicbullshitI can already hear you thinking it.  Oh great, another sweet potato post. YOU KNOW WHAT, I’M SORRY BUT YES, THIS IS ANOTHER SWEET POTATO POST.  It’s just every time I see a sweet potato they’re trying to be something they’re not.  Sweet potatoes are some deceitful bastards. They’re not goldenThey’re not bananas.  And they’re certainly not organic.

Whaaaaat? You ask incredulously.  But Ben, they have stickers on them labeling them as organic.  Can’t you read, Ben?  How can you argue against the authoritative display that is a sticker?  Things get labeled, and once they’re labeled, they stay those things.  Duh.  NO, NOT DUH.  That’s backwards ass wrong.  Just because you label something, doesn’t mean the label is accurate.

Take these sweet potatoes.  That sticker means NOTHING.  You know how I know?  Because I took a conventional sweet potato, added it to the pile, and put one of those stickers on it.  Can you identify which one it is?  No, you can’t you dirty liar, because I’m also a dirty liar who didn’t actually do that.  But I could have.  I could have labeled any old sweet potato as an organic sweet potato and you would have believed that label.  Don’t trust labels.

The real reason I know that sweet potato isn’t organic is because of the label itself.  I used to work in a grocery co-op that took organic produce very, very seriously.  We’re talking life or death levels of gravity here.  I had to take something like seventy thousand hours of training on organic produce, and the number one thing they emphasized was this: If the organic produce touches something that’s not organic, the produce itself is no longer organic.  So you see that little label on those potatoes?  That label isn’t organic.  And it means the potato isn’t organic.  Labeling things makes us liars.  Don’t label things.

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