Look, I’m not one to lecture, but the world is a dangerous place and the last thing I want happening to any of you is contact with a potato disease. A potato disease I ask for you? Yes, a potato disease. Did you know there are dozens of diseases potatoes can come in contact with? AND THEY ALL SOUND SCARY AS SHIT. Look at this list of names: powdery scab, silver scurf, bacterial soft rot, blackleg, pink rot, blackheart, verticillium wilt, the list goes on and on.
Now, if you’re thinking to yourself that blackleg doesn’t sound so bad, I can assure you it won’t make you run like Usain Bolt. Okay, I guess I don’t actually know that for a fact because I’m not a phytopathologist. But whatever! Just play it safe and assume blackleg is like leg death, thus explaining why potatoes, which obviously used to have legs, are no longer two-legged creatures. Again, potato disease is nasty and terrible and scary as shit!
So what can you do to avoid that list of scary infections? WRAP YOUR POTATO, DUMMY. Don’t even mess around, dude. If you don’t know that potato, wrap it the fuck up. Do you really want PINK ROT? That’s fucking disgusting. You’ll never be able to scrub clean the memory of your rotting pink. Now if you’re in a healthy, really committed connection with a particular potato that you trust, by all means, do your thing. But don’t risk it with strange starches of the night. Wrap your potatoes.