Look at this motherfucking Red Idaho Potato. Look at it. I SAID LOOK AT IT. I found it on my kitchen counter, silently rotting away in the shadows of a never-used spice rack. See those wrinkles? Those are the creases of time. This potato has seen things, man. This potato has survived. This potato is an old soul. He moves for no one. I Snapped the potato to prove it. That Red Idaho Potato doesn’t go 0-100, bro. He’s not Drake. He keeps it straight ZERO. That potato is a goddamn inspiration to us all.
Ben threw away this potato immediately after writing this post. R.I.P. potato.